there is what i have to do.
there is what i have not to do.
i have known them too well.

but i have always go through the opposite path.
i have messed my life up by not doing what i have to do.
i have devastated them by doing what i have not to do.

that's why i hardened my will.
again, i want to apologize, to EVERYONE.
i am so sorry.
and thank you.